You
Since beginning of time, you held my hand
My first steps, you aided me stand
That dawn we walked that extra mile
I chased your words, you had that style 

You made me laugh, you got that snigger

Those nights we watched the moon just bigger

My eyes always looked up to you

If you were there, I was there too.

I felt at ease with you along

You were my happy, gala song

But as they say, no man’s complete

To smile that bright, you have to weep

I chanced to see that depth inside

I was left ‘lone with eyes so wide

You dripped of sorrow, you fought your pain

You fell behind, you fell again

Your eyes spoke that day, you cried

And all way, to me you lied

You lay that day, deceased within

You drank and drained, you were not him

Who made me tough, was so fragile

Who made me laugh, did dare not smile

I was left isolated from you

I saw a man tormented through

You were so done and yet remained

My man, my god, you looked so pained

I saw you fade in shadows dark

That glittery eye, its closing spark

And yet you rose to touch your lass

I last love from your carcass

I want you back that fair and free

Come back, Oh! do come back to me.

                                                                                                           - яhԑȃ

Black is my happy color.

They asked me when the world shall end

I said,

Not when you lose your relations,

Not when your dog dies,

Not when the earth shakes,

But when, you begin to find the difference between death and life

Not as being in different states, but

When death seems more peaceful, than torturous living.

Than slow dying.

I hate it

I hate it ‘coz you’re special to me- I cannot even tell.

I hate it that you were the one, the one for whom I fell.

We got so deep, so truly down, and time just flew by

I hate it that you said the truth. The truth with a little lie.

I hate the empty feeling there- somewhere in my chest

The feeling of a missing piece; a sword in a crest.

I hate that you did care so much, you loved me back so more

I hate it when you left me there, my pain so sweetly sore.

I hate that I still jump a bit, when I see you in the street

I hate that I expect you yet, that love’s so sorely sweet.

You smile some bit, and smile some more, it melts me down so fast

I hate that I still think of you, I live my life in past.

Next time you leave, just leave and go, and don’t look back at me

Don’t send those mails, those funny tales, just turn your back and leave

I know this time if you do try, I’ll hate you even more.

I’ll hate the way I’ll come to you, like tidal waves on shore.

                                                                                                         - яhԑȃ

Believe, and thou shalt have it.

"Un-complete"

I’d stumble into visions of lustrous perfection, chastising the mocking legitimacy

I’d covet a seamless spin of the saga, ushering the periphery of flawed delicacy

The infinite pit of subtlety that craved piloted the pioneered pursuit

Combing a saline drip amidst dawning dewdrops from the heavens that alit

I flunk to recall the age of fulfillment, an epoch of inhumanly enlightenment

That shoved me to humanly enlightenment, an acceptance of glitches. The scent

Of inaccuracies, that tingle the soul; humanoid in spirit and precariously exposed

Brewing the arduous journey, but transmuting the world so sonorously posed

Reaping rewards of peace in turmoilous madmen’s terrains- infertile and sooty

An absurd enigma as it happens, but imperfection is sheer humanly beauty.  

                                                                                                            - яhԑȃ

Cease whining on what hath happened,

For thou moaned on thy miseries

Comprehend that life doesn't always give you lemons:

And it is then, amigo, when thou shalt hast to grow one.

It's a beautiful life

And again.

The world is a labyrinth, of threats and commands

It’s woven around itself- an inevitable, seamless end

The further you travel, the more you gather it’s all alike

You shall be ensnared alive, lest you ruthlessly blend

Memories are sought to be remembered and yet forgotten

It commences with naught, terminates in the same

Things change, and you are nobody furthermore

It all dissolves into the ceaseless platform of pain

The core of it- sorrow is vastly eternal

Man merely tries to find happiness all his existence

And he lives in a trance- the same as the others

Navigating through agony, grabbing as much as he tends

Hence, when you hear my cry, inquire not what happened

Life happened my friend; a new turn of infidelity

Probe as to what I understood, for it may abet you too

And take a pew; for this is the verity.

I’ll tell you that hope is the source of all

An inept thing, that. When glints of light in you remain:

Destroyed by the rash truth that knocks you in the face

Do not hope mon ami, for you shall be hammered again. And again.

                                                                                                              - яhԑȃ

Is poetry the most beautiful and the most ragingly subtle thing i ever came across? 

The knot.

Yes we held hands. Drawing closer to you was slick. Flawless. And it worked!

Until the phase when my house submerged in the storm: nicking my smile. Everything just washed away. An accident, it happened. You still soothed me. It would be fine again.

And then a theft, leaving me in tatters. Another one, and I had had enough. You still held my hand.

But then why did the tornado strike, and then the earthquake? Why was everything so murky? Why did things befall, malicious things, since I arrived? Yet living in the shadows was acceptable- Because you never left me. You were there. Even when I was devastated.

Then came the fire. An accident, so inextinguishable, succeeding its ancestors. It was similar- a threat to end me. Accidents. And this time, I could take it no more. The slow torture was murderous. There had to be a reason. A cause for the mishap. I settled to walk through the flames to uproot my hitches. And then I saw you fueling the heat.

(But you said it was an accident)

It's coming

There’s something coming through the fog, I can see its flame glow

Nearing to rescue me, to yank me out of the knee-deep snow.

Guided by an angelic soul, steering its way amid the dark around me

It shall show me the trail, setting fire to the frosted ice beneath.

The night won’t reign for long, the daylight shall route its way past

The shadows crumple me to pieces, but endlessly it shan’t last.

My prayers shall be answered soon enough, until then I stay behind

No matter how black the sky, my spirit it not ever ought bind.

And then shall I sail through roads I struggle to climb today

I’m twirling in the storm, lingering till it arrives, muttering as I pray.

‘Coz within, I grasp the faith that his flowers shan’t be left unattended

He thoughtfully blooms each one. Each one who believes is tended.

Though it’s the pain that sears as sparks flicker from fire I’m put into

But a diamond is only a coal who burned in flames orange-blue

It’s coming to get me out, it’ll relieve me of my agony, I know.

And it’s coming through the fog, I can clearly see its flame glow.

                                                                                                                     - яhԑȃ

My silence is just another word for my pain.

I'd rather be stupid

I’d rather be stupid

Instead being smart guy- comprehending the gaps

I’d rather not grow up

Than maturing and witnessing the collapse

For all I understand, it’s going to wound me

As I chance a tryst with reality

I’d rather stay unawares, unwise, redundant to its supreme

And then be ecstatic devoid sanity

For what is the point of life than to stay happy?

I’d rather not know what’s affected

Than to realize it and mourn

For everything cannot be abetted.

And one has to know when one is beaten.

So, I’d rather not know I’m thrashed

For I did not put up a fight

At least I died so unabashed-

Not steering through the world,

Or getting defeated by fame or wealth

Nor defeating others for power or money

Unawares of anything. Of cheating or stealth.

I did not compete- for happiness.

And I died happy.

I lived for myself alone.

Yes, that’s what I would be.

                                                                                                           - яhԑȃ

Thursday

A regular day at school was what that Thursday seemed to be. I was sitting with my friend, gossiping along, when a group of small guys passed us by. A usual habit of mine, I waved up to all of them.

Most felt self-conscious, and embarrassed to gesticulate to a stranger, and worked their way out with awkward glances. Among those, was this small lanky fella- who turned around as I waved. And to my utmost astonishment, and a pleasant disbelief, he blew me a flying-kiss!

We never met again, nor did I pursue his trail to hunt for him in the school. I doubt we shall ever come in contact again. But if we do, I would love to express my happiness to him. He made my day. A simple signal of acquaintance, and a confident relaxed attitude might just breed cheerfulness in the world.

I learnt that day.

I try to make sure that I do not confine this chain of happiness. Maybe I could produce it too.

Be human.

And i can only hope that
god is listening to my prayers
My words of sorrow, which pour out
through phrases. Reflecting my desperation.
But is he listening?

The Jungle

 

The squandered trees and the grassy road

The Animal kingdom graces the abode.

The jungle is lordly, majestic and wild,

Serene and stormy, the nature’s child.

 

The streams jut out to touch the clay

The dew does dwell some more today

While chimps ascend the bough with a bung

The larks canopy the highest rung.

 

The lucid light adorns the site

Vibrant as ever, the blooms delight

Moles and squirrels squirm beneath

Rattling the nuts with claws and teeth.

 

As sun bows down to the dusky gloom

The woods exhaust to the rivery tune.

As cuckoos fade out with chirps of sorrow

The jungle shall begin anew tomorrow.

                                                                        - яhԑȃ

                                                                               

                                                                         

You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes everyday-
Unless you're too busy;
Then you should sit for an hour.

                                                                               
-Old Zen Adage

Finally!! My hardwork of two whole days has transformed into something beautiful... :)

The quieter you become, the more you can hear

 

This day is just so special. It's Raksha Bandhan! 

Just 'coz i have a brother, i will always have a friend

Dark

Crawling this sooty route, travelling this shrivelled way

Bloodguilty, hopeless, with my own self I battle this fray.

I’ve discerned enough suffering, I was carved of violent labor

Every step I take is a cessation, a chain to my endeavour.

It feels so powerless, so uncertain, so dark when it’s light

It’s a journey isolated, the dusty road irreversibly blight.

I’ve lost sense of direction, I’m fighting my way headlong

Dragging desperately, each time I’m thrown off, cast down.

The dim starlight reflects my frantic struggle to survive

It feels like giving up each instance, save a puny hope is alive.

I’m screaming, dejected, my smile was a mutable myth

It hurts enough to break me, though just enough to live with.

                                                                                                               - яhԑȃ

It's scary what a smile can hide

All that I am, I owe to my angel mother.

Need

I envisage it in my dreams, in my desires, in my hopes

It shimmers in my mind, pierces and elopes.

It swarms in my soul, I want it that bad.

It’s descried in the lane, lest it was for the ropes.

I strain my arms for it is waiting to be touched

I contend my fetters, I want it to be nudged.

It lets me a sly look, my hopes winged and swollen

It attends me that time, and then it has budged.

That one fine morn, when I go down on my knees

I stoop to the ground and expeditiously I seize.

It’s been quite a while, oh now yes, it has

My struggle with the confiners has come to an ease.

I ultimately achieve what has pestered me so long

In the route of rapture, my hopes all throng.

I expect to perceive the fulfilment of soul

It soon becomes clear that I have been wrong.

My dripping blood has rather now turned into gore

I cannot fathom why I had craved it to the core.

The desperation was a part of the thrill of the chase

Now that I finally possess it, I want it no more.

                                                                                          

                                                                                             - яhԑȃ

The lil' guy

He was a guy of 2, dragging to 3 maybe. Hardly could he speak, and walk without tripping.

And he wasn’t eating chocolates. A whole box of full of it was right in front of his eyes, and all his pals were munching on. The jar was nearby, and everybody compelled him to have a nibble. It wouldn’t hurt, they said. And he firmly refused each proposal.

Annoyed, a few demanded the reason for his “stand-out” behavior. It was only ordinary to have chocolates in a party, wasn’t it?

No, said he. Mum has denied. 

And i learnt to be humble today. Surprising that it took a three year old child to teach me that.

Smile: One word, and all that matters.

Hold This Hand

I lie on the porch as my scars I prune

With water in my eyes, I hum our tune.

As I begin the tale, the memoirs flash

Fragile as they can be; held by a lash.

The first sunlight, which lit our meeting

When unaware beings shared their greeting.

Never did believe for the days to go

Would bring us closer and closer than you know.

The talks, then fables, then secrets unsaid

We laughed like asses, we sat like dead.

And times when you completed my lines

I borrowed your books and kept them as mine!

When one look could change my tears to smile

Those internal jokes we shared once a while.

When birthdays were wished at twelve at night

When minions planned together for the fight.

Your intense image, in my heart it bore

We were not just friends, we were something so more.

And then you came, with eyes that low

Our time was done, you had to go.

Did I tell you how powerless I felt?

The songs, our songs, in me they dwelt.

And who would sing with me again?

Where shall I find a girl that insane?!

Your house got closed, your doors they squealed

The place where I had half my meals.

My life was a blur before you came

And now it shall be the same again.

My soul was hollow, was incomplete

I refrained for long, but I did weep.

And now I walk alone the lane

Drenched and doomed, I walk in pain.

Stretch out my arm, the one with the band

Hoping you return to hold this hand.

                                                                                          - яhԑȃ

*A hearty tribute to my best-friend* :) 

Dawn To Dusk

The bells and the chime mark the rise of the day.

The hilltops shine in the foremost ray.

The colors emerge as the first bird mocks

Only to surge with the new dewdrops.

The winds, the rushing, the misty gales:

With hopes anew, the dawn prevails.

The day then halts in its next lil’ stance

And flowers go vibrant, the colors enhance.

The scorching rays form a fiery hoop,

Betrayed by the sun, the travelers droop.

But still move on, in dunes of sand

Deny to surrender to the parching land.

The dusk comes around with its lonely trance

When trees and plants abstain their dance.

One by one while birds start hushing

The river goes still, now ceasing its gushing.

And the woods around the untouched lane,

Embrace the silent, eternal bane.

                                                                          - яhԑȃ